Our Savior Lutheran Church

Last Week

Last week we explored Joseph’s forgiveness of his brothers prior to their first trip to Egypt. If he had still carried a grudge, he could never have arrived at his plan to see if they had repented. This week we will see how the older brothers regained Joseph’s trust by demonstrating repentant, changed hearts.

To Get Us Started

Whether old or young, we all have to exercise trust to make any relationship between people work – within families, friendships, business affairs, governments, and international affairs. Once trust is lost, it’s hard for any of these relationships to function.

1. When you were young, who was the kid in your neighborhood (or school) who lied a lot? How did that lying affect how others treated him or her?

2. What has been your most difficult situation as an adult in which you could not trust someone you had to interact with regularly?

The Word

The older brothers’ first encounter with Joseph in Egypt recreated for them their experience of mistreating Joseph as a teenager – harsh words, false accusations, and imprisonment. Their second meeting with him recreated for them the experience of Jacob – clothes-rending agony over the sudden apparent loss of a dear one. Were the older brothers still deceitful, selfish schemers, or had they repented? Joseph needed to know before he could trust them.

Genesis 42:29-32, 35-38

[29] When they came to their father Jacob in the land of Canaan, they told him all that had happened to them. They said, [30] "The man who is lord over the land spoke harshly to us and treated us as though we were spying on the land. [31] But we said to him, 'We are honest men; we are not spies. [32] We were twelve brothers, sons of one father. One is no more, and the youngest is now with our father in Canaan.' . . .

[35] As they were emptying their sacks, there in each man's sack was his pouch of silver! When they and their father saw the money pouches, they were frightened. [36] Their father Jacob said to them, "You have deprived me of my children. Joseph is no more and Simeon is no more, and now you want to take Benjamin. Everything is against me!"

[37] Then Reuben said to his father, "You may put both of my sons to death if I do not bring him back to you. Entrust him to my care, and I will bring him back."

[38] But Jacob said, "My son will not go down there with you; his brother is dead and he is the only one left. If harm comes to him on the journey you are taking, you will bring my gray head down to the grave in sorrow."

Genesis 43:1-2, 8-10, 15-16, 26-31

[1] Now the famine was still severe in the land. [2] So when they had eaten all the grain they had brought from Egypt, their father said to them, "Go back and buy us a little more food." . . .

[8] Then Judah said to Israel his father, "Send the boy along with me and we will go at once, so that we and you and our children may live and not die. [9] I myself will guarantee his safety; you can hold me personally responsible for him. If I do not bring him back to you and set him here before you, I will bear the blame before you all my life. [10] As it is, if we had not delayed, we could have gone and returned twice." . . .

[15] So the men took the gifts and double the amount of silver, and Benjamin also. They hurried down to Egypt and presented themselves to Joseph. [16] When Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to the steward of his house, "Take these men to my house, slaughter an animal and prepare dinner; they are to eat with me at noon." . . .

[26] When Joseph came home, they presented to him the gifts they had brought into the house, and they bowed down before him to the ground. [27] He asked them how they were, and then he said, "How is your aged father you told me about? Is he still living?"

[28] They replied, "Your servant our father is still alive and well." And they bowed low to pay him honor.

[29] As he looked about and saw his brother Benjamin, his own mother's son, he asked, "Is this your youngest brother, the one you told me about?" And he said, "God be gracious to you, my son." [30] Deeply moved at the sight of his brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep. He went into his private room and wept there.

[31] After he had washed his face, he came out and, controlling himself, said, "Serve the food."

Genesis 44:1-4, 12-13, 18, 32-34

[1] Now Joseph gave these instructions to the steward of his house: "Fill the men's sacks with as much food as they can carry, and put each man's silver in the mouth of his sack. [2] Then put my cup, the silver one, in the mouth of the youngest one's sack, along with the silver for his grain." And he did as Joseph said.

[3] As morning dawned, the men were sent on their way with their donkeys. [4] They had not gone far from the city when Joseph said to his steward, "Go after those men at once, and when you catch up with them, say to them, 'Why have you repaid good with evil . . .

[12] Then the steward proceeded to search, beginning with the oldest and ending with the youngest. And the cup was found in Benjamin's sack. [13] At this, they tore their clothes. Then they all loaded their donkeys and returned to the city. . . .

[18] Then Judah went up to him and said: "Please, my lord, let your servant speak a word to my lord. Do not be angry with your servant, though you are equal to Pharaoh himself. . . .

[32] Your servant guaranteed the boy's safety to my father. I said, 'If I do not bring him back to you, I will bear the blame before you, my father, all my life!'

[33] "Now then, please let your servant remain here as my lord's slave in place of the boy, and let the boy return with his brothers. [34] How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? No! Do not let me see the misery that would come upon my father."

Observations

To be able once again to trust his brothers, Joseph needed to know and believe two things: 1) they were telling him the whole truth; 2) they were truly sorry before God and man for what they had done. Joseph’s rigorous testing revealed that his brothers had become men more concerned about their aged father and their younger brother than they were about themselves. They had changed from the inside out.

Observation 1

Trust is a precious commodity, and we must do all that we can to maintain it.

It takes years to develop trust. However, we can quickly destroy it with self-centered actions. Sadly, it takes only one major sinful action to destroy that trust. And when trust is gone, we’ve lost one of our greatest assets. In every human relationship, we must work to maintain and enhance the sense of trust. Likewise, in our relationship with God, we must show ourselves trustworthy and obedient servants. Fortunately, not all of our actions are that serious. We can rebuild trust by being honest and open.

Observation 2

If we do something that violates trust, we should try to rebuild it with total honesty and true repentance.

Each of us violates someone’s trust at some point in life. Fortunately, such breach of trust is not eternal. Trust can be rebuilt! Rebuilding it requires honesty and openness. Most people – even non-Christians – are very forgiving when we are open and honest with them. Fully rebuilding trust requires even more – a true change of heart and mind. This results in a change in behavior.

One very important way to demonstrate honesty and true repentance is to submit to an accountability system on a regular basis. This involves meeting with one or more mature men to answer some specific questions regarding daily activities and behaviors.

Observation 3

If our trust has been violated, we must do all we can to help that person rebuild that trust.

This is the true test of our own maturity and of whether or not we have truly forgiven others for what they’ve done. Joseph stands out as a shining and noble example. In spite of his brothers’ terrible sin against him, he did all he could to help them rebuild their relationship with him. He did not simply accept their statements claiming to be honest. He helped them go through a process leading to true repentance.

Observation 4

It’s always wise to test a person’s honesty and trust, but it must always be done with proper motives and appropriate methods.

Obviously, this is very difficult, especially if we happen to be the person who has been hurt. We’ll probably need help from other mature Christians to help us test our own motives. Are we being driven by anger? Are we attempting to hurt the other person and get even? Are we simply showing our own lack of trust and honesty? As we test, can we display love and concern for the person and for our relationship with that person? The goal is never to see how well we conduct the test but to gain a reconciled brother in Christ.

To Discuss

3. If you were one of the characters in this story, who would you be? Why?

a. Simeon – rotting in jail.

b. Reuben – trying to help but always failing.

c. Judah – growing in responsibility.

d. Benjamin - along for the ride.

e. Jacob – afraid of getting hurt again.

f. Joseph – running the show.

4. Why do you think Jacob rejected Reuben’s offer to be responsible for Benjamin but accepted Judah’s?

5. How many ways did the brothers demonstrate to Joseph that they were honest men?

6. How did the brothers show that they were not jealous of Benjamin’s favored status as they had been jealous of Joseph?

7. How did the brothers reveal that they understood the kind of pain they had caused their father Jacob when they pretended Joseph was dead?

8. What impresses you about Judah’s appeal for Benjamin in Genesis 44:30-34?

9. How do you think friends who have lost one another’s trust can rebuild it? How long do you think such a process takes?

10. How can family members who have lost one another’s trust rebuild it? How long do you think such a process takes?

11. If Joseph’s brothers had not repented and shown new hearts of sacrificial love, do you think he would have revealed himself to them? Why or why not?

12. In the situation you identified in “To Get Us Started” #2, has trust been rebuilt to any extent, or is it still broken? How might you have responded differently to that situation? Is there something you can do even now?

Men need to lead the way in their families in terms of trustworthiness. We also need to be people of integrity in our work. If we do violate trust and lose the confidence of those around us, we need to repent and work to regain trust.

13. Pray that the men in this group will live in such a way that they deserve trust in their private and public lives.

14. If any men in this group are working to rebuild lost trust, pray that God will bless their efforts and help them persevere through the process, no matter how long.

Next Week

This week we saw that trust is a very important part of any human relationship. In the coming week, ask the Lord to show you ways in which you can be a more trustworthy man of God. Next week we turn from looking at Joseph as a tough tester of his brothers to see him as a tender-hearted man shedding tears of joy.