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| The Seven A's of Confession |
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To be a peacemaker, you need to deal honestly with your contribution to the conflict. He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Proverbs 18:13 A. The Most Common Cause of Conflict: Forgetting the Golden Rule Matt. 7:12 – “Do to others what you would have them do to you.” Examine your relationship in light of this. B. Repentance is more than a feeling. It is not something we do on our own It is a change in the way we think It often is waking up to the fact that we have been deceiving ourselves C. True Confession … the key to freedom from past wrongs. “Father forgive me, a sinner” D. “How To Confess”: 1. Address everyone affected …reach as far as the offense. Luke 19:8 2. Avoid: IF, BUT, MAYBE “I’m sorry, IF I’ve done something to upset you.” (Token apology) “I know you’re upset, but I don’t know why … don’t expect me to change … I’ll probably do it again …” “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, BUT you really upset me!” “MAYBE I could have tried harder.” 3. Admit Specifically Luke 15:21 “Father, I have sinned against Heaven and Against you… Being Detailed and specific: a. More likely to receive a positive response b. Identifies the behavior that needs changing c. Shows the other person you know you were wrong 4. Acknowledge the hurt Empathy with the other person… “You must have been terribly embarrassed when I said …” “I can see why you must have been frustrated when I …” 5. Accept the consequences Luke 19:8 – “Here and now I give half my possessions to the poor …” Luke 15:19 – “I am no longer worth to be called your son …” Making Restitution … “You have every right to fire me … (repairing damage) “ I will call every person I talked to …” 6. Alter your behavior What is your plan?? “With God’s help, I plan to …” Do the plan in writing. Be open, ask for suggestions from the one offended. 7. Ask for forgiveness If not spontaneous, ask: “Will you please forgive me?” And then, give time. It may not come immediately. Be careful not to guilt or try to coerce forgiveness. 2 Timothy 2:21 – “If a man cleanses himself from [sin], he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.” |