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| The Five Steps of Matthew 18 |
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The FIVE Steps of Matthew 18 15"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. General Principle: Keep the number of people involved in a conflict as small as possible for as long as possible! Step #1 - Overlook Minor Offenses Colossians 3:13- Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Proverbs 19:11 – A man’s wisdom gives him patience: it is to his glory to overlook an offense. When do you Overlook? 1 When the offense isn’t an impasse between you and the other person. 2 When the offense isn’t causing HARM to God’s reputation, to other people, or to the offender himself. 3 When the offense isn’t evidence of an ongoing pattern in the offender’s life. Step #2 - Talk in Private Matthew 18:15 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” Think about it … If you have wronged someone else … what do you do? Whose responsibility is it to start the “peacemaking?” “Go” … what does that mean? What do we have to watch out for? (G #2) Do we only “go” once? Step #3 – Take One or Two Others Along Matthew 18:16 - But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' What do the “witnesses” do? What relationship(s) should they have to the parties involved? What do you tell them up front? Step #4 – Tell It to the Church (Accountability) Matthew 18:17- If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Remembering our General Principle – how is “it” told to the church? What do you do if the offender is a member of another church? With whose authority does the church speak on this matter? What is the goal … of the church, of the offender’s friends in the church? Step #5 – Treat Him as a Nonbeliever According to Scripture, who/what is the offender acting like? Does the church have the power to decide if the person IS an unbeliever? How do we treat “unbelievers” who come to our door at Our Savior? This revoking membership step does three things in love (not punishment): 1- Prevents dishonor to God if the offender continues to offend. 2- Other believers are kept from being led astray by a bad example. 3- Hopefully will bring the offender to repent of his sin. “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” |