Our Savior Lutheran Church

Last Week

Last week we saw how Joseph’s brothers re-established their trustworthiness in his eyes. They demonstrated repentance from their former scheming, selfish ways. They showed concern for their baby brother Benjamin and compassion for their father Jacob.

To Get Us Started

Humans enter this world in tears. Young parents sometimes think the crying never stops. Soon young children learn to use tears to get their way with those big adults trying to shut them up. Eventually, young boys stop, for “You are too big to cry.” Hopefully, somewhere along the line, maturity sets in and teaches the young adult when crying is appropriate and when it is not. Sadly, many adults never go through all these stages. Some remain babyish, crying for every and even no reason. Some cry strictly to manipulate others. Some learn not to cry but never mature into adult tears. Each person needs to take a careful examination of personal use of tears and crying.

1. Roughly, how old were you when you decided you were too big to cry? How did you come to this conclusion?

2. Which of these tends to move you to tears?

a. Sad movies.

b. Onions.

c. The consistent failure of a favorite sports team.

d. The death of a family member.

e. Compassion and care for another person’s troubles.

f. Really good news.

g. Nothing.

h. Other _____________________

The Word

When Joseph revealed himself to his brothers, they all found themselves on unfamiliar relational ground. They had never before treated one another positively and cooperatively. This new experience produced all sorts of strong emotions within the group of brothers – emotions ranging from intense fear to giddy elation. Joseph expressed his emotions with tears. Giving and accepting forgiveness and achieving reconciliation are emotional experiences that bring forth strong expressions of emotions.

Genesis 45:1-11, 14-18, 21-22, 24

[1] Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, "Have everyone leave my presence!" So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. [2] And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh's household heard about it.

[3] Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph! Is my father still living?" But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence.

[4] Then Joseph said to his brothers, "Come close to me." When they had done so, he said, "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! [5] And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. [6] For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. [7] But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.

[8] "So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. [9] Now hurry back to my father and say to him, 'This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don't delay. [10] You shall live in the region of Goshen and be near me--you, your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all you have. [11] I will provide for you there, because five years of famine are still to come. Otherwise you and your household and all who belong to you will become destitute.' . . .

[14] Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. [15] And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him.

[16] When the news reached Pharaoh's palace that Joseph's brothers had come, Pharaoh and all his officials were pleased. [17] Pharaoh said to Joseph, "Tell your brothers, 'Do this: Load your animals and return to the land of Canaan, [18] and bring your father and your families back to me. I will give you the best of the land of Egypt and you can enjoy the fat of the land.' . . .

[21] So the sons of Israel did this. Joseph gave them carts, as Pharaoh had commanded, and he also gave them provisions for their journey. [22] To each of them he gave new clothing, but to Benjamin he gave three hundred shekels of silver and five sets of clothes. . . . [24] Then he sent his brothers away, and as they were leaving he said to them, "Don't quarrel on the way!"

Observations

Joseph’s tears reflect not just his humanness, but the attitude of his heart. Although he controlled more power, prestige, and authority than any man in the world, he never lost his ability to be tender, to show compassion, and to feel deeply. He was definitely a man’s man – but a gentle man! He certainly demonstrated that “big boys do cry!”

Observation 1

God created all of us with the capacity to weep; exercising this capacity shows our physical, psychological, and spiritual health.

Weeping is a God-create means for emotional release. Research demonstrates that when people lose loved ones in death and do not allow themselves to weep at some point, they are probably headed for emotional struggles. In some instances, psychological depression or anger and bitterness may result. Let’s not forget that when Jesus arrived in Bethany following the death of Lazarus, a very dear friend, He “wept” (John 11:35). The Son of God modeled for all of us that it is healthy to cry.

Observation 2

Weeping can be a sign of great strength – not weakness.

No one can properly classify Joseph as a weak man. Having endured the most hurtful and painful of all experiences – rejection by his brothers, he emerged stronger than ever. Joseph then rose to a position of great prominence in Egypt. Despite past injustice, he refused to give in to the temptation of an illegitimate sexual relationship. Nor did he ever use his position of power to retaliate or to get “justice.”

We see in Joseph a man of great emotional and spiritual strength – though he often wept. As men, we must not allow pride to keep us from doing what God says is normal. When we hurt, we must not be afraid to weep. Our weakness may be keeping us from expressing our emotions in this way.

Observation 3

Though weeping in normal under certain circumstances, it should never be used as a means of manipulating others or used for selfish reasons.

Some people develop the “art of weeping.” I’ve seen preachers do it. I’ve seen musicians do it. If you’ve listened to them often enough, you can predict when it’s going to happen.

Isn’t it amazing that everything God has created to be good, human beings have a tendency to use selfishly and inappropriately? As we’ve noted, weeping is a very normal means of expressing emotion but we can also use it with false motives. When we do, we not only hurt ourselves, but we confuse others. Joseph’s weeping came from deep personal emotions and feelings, not from a willful decision to manipulate his brothers or other people to gain power or control for himself. Joseph wept because he had to, not because he decided to.

Observation 4

Sincere weeping often clears the way for objective and honest communication with those who have hurt and wounded us.

After Joseph wept with his brothers, they spent time talking (Genesis 45:15). This was probably the first time in their lifetime that Joseph and his brothers were able to sit down and have a time of mature and open communication. Joseph’s tears revealed his tender emotions for his father and his brothers, dispelled the brothers’ fears, and thus set the stage for this kind of openness.

Sincere weeping enables us to communicate with each other more effectively. Tears peel back the protective emotional layers so we can be more objective and authentic. They reveal our honest, human side and elicit trust from people previously prone to fear or doubt us.

Furthermore, tears allow us to relate at a less serious level, even laughing at ourselves and our weaknesses. Tears thus lead to honest forgiveness and reconciliation, particularly when deep pain has broken human relationships.

To Discuss

1. If you had been Joseph, how would you have handled your emotions while reconciling with your older brothers and seeing your only full brother for the first time in 22 years?

2. Which of these comes closest to capturing your reaction if you had witnessed Joseph weeping over his brothers?

a. Disgust.

b. Admiration.

c. Uneasiness.

d. Tears of your own.

e. Other ________________

3. How many reasons can you think of to explain why Joseph wept when he told his brothers who he was and embraced Benjamin?

4. How many reasons can you think of to explain why the older brothers were terrified when they found out the “Egyptian” big shot was Joseph?

5. What do you imagine the Egyptian servants may have thought when they heard their master wailing through the closed doors of his house?

6. After years of helping relative strangers, Joseph was finally able to lavish gifts on his brothers and provide the richest land in Egypt as a safe haven for his father, brothers, and their families. What do you think this meant to him?

7. Why do you think Joseph encouraged his brothers not to argue on their way home to Canaan?

8. Do you need to be more open and free to shed tears in emotional situations? Why or why not?

9. How do you think a man’s maturity level relates to his ability to cry at appropriate times without embarrassment?

10. What is the correct balance of weeping over heartache and doing something to correct the problem? How does Joseph demonstrate that balance?

11. Observation 4 claims that sincere weeping enables us to communicate with each other more effectively. The emotional layers are peeled back so we can be more objective and authentic. What do you think of that idea?

Western civilization tends to look down on masculine tears. Use this time to support one another in efforts to be both emotionally and spiritually strong and tender.

12. Thank God for His gift of the capacity to honestly feel and express both pain and pleasure.

13. Share the most recent experience you have had with tears, their own or another persons, and how you responded to that experience.

14. Express gratitude to God for a group of men in which you can express your sorrows and joys as God moves you to.

Next Week

This week we saw that Joseph, a “man’s man,” was not afraid to express his emotions in tears. In the coming week, ask the Lord to help you learn to weep before Him over the things that you have done to grieve Him. Next week we conclude this study of Joseph’s life by examining the explanations he gave his brothers for why God let all those bad things happen to him.